Are celebs getting fat to get back on TV?
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I was shocked when I saw how fat Kevin Federline has gotten. Now I believe that he might have been fattening himself up on purpose to get work, the way Matt Damon gained pounds for his latest film “The Informant.” Has he really blown all of that cash from Britney already? K-Fed, or as Perez Hilton calls him “K-Fat,” will appear on the newest edition of VH1’s “Celebrity Fit Club.”
Also on the show, according to TMZ, will be Federline’s ex-wife, Shar Jackson, along with Bobby Brown and Nicole Eggert. Nicole Eggert? That hottie from “Charles in Charge” and “Baywatch”? Oh no! This is terrible! Seeing her name in print conjures images of lust, but now she’s going to be on TV as a tub of lard and that’s what I’m going to picture in my head from now on!
This makes SEVEN SEASONS of this show, and thanks to it, I have fattie versions of Kelly LeBrock, Erika Eleniak, and Marcia Brady in my brain. Can’t they take someone like Rosie O’Donnell and make her lose 40 pounds rather than shattering my image of these sex symbols? If Marilyn Monroe had lived, can you imagine her doing one of these shows? I wonder what celebrities turned the producers down? Can you imagine an agent calling: “Hey, Maureen. I know I said you’re unemployable unless you get a personal trainer, but I might have a job for you on this new show if you can swallow your pride and smother your ego.”
Time does cruel things to the body — especially when you stop working as a backup dancer and humping the boss. Since I turned 40, I find I must exercise and watch what I eat just to stay merely overweight rather than obese. Seriously… We can land a man on the moon (40 years ago!) yet we still don’t have a pill I can ingest to make my body look like it did 20 years ago?! I guess I could try that Alli stuff — and just keep an extra pair of pants with me at all times! I wouldn’t normally care, but it’s getting to where I have to stick my neck out to see my own genitals and, well, I just need something to make me laugh now and then!
Where was I? Oh yeah, Kevin Federline… From the looks of it, he’s been eating all of Britney Spears’ money, but TMZ reports he has waddled onto the Simi Valley, Calif. set of the VH1 reality show. Wishing him luck and especially wishing Nicole Eggert success at fat camp. Somebody let me know when I final episode airs so I can unblock VH1 and see her skinny again.