Johnny Depp named People’s ‘Sexiest Man Alive’
Why does my wife have Johnny Depp's picture taped to the ceiling above our bed?
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So Johnny Depp has been named as People magazine’s “Sexiest Man Alive.”
Yep, that pretty boy from “21 Jump Street” and the effeminate pirate from “Pirates of the Caribbean.” I know you guys have been on the edge of your seat in anticipation of this announcement… NOT.
He succeeds 2008 winner Hugh Jackman. Depp previously won in 2003 and shares dual recipient status with George Clooney and Brad Pitt.
Depp is 46 years old. I can take some redemptive guilty pleasure from that fact. Yep, even though college girls are now young enough to be my daughters, I could still conceivably nail them… If I was handsome, famous and rich. All you younger guys out there reading this, who you callin’ older than dirt, buster?! At least I can hold my liquor, junior. Me and Capt. Jack Sparrow are still HAWT!
You know these movie stars just shrug this stuff off while inside they are silently ecstatic. A woman would tearfully rush the stage for her trophy, but a man would look totally gay and totally conceited if he demonstrated taking this kind of superlative declaration seriously. “You love me, you really love me!” I can just picture him gushing.
At best, a guy can joke, “Yeah, that’s right. You want some o’ this?”
I do wonder if Clooney, Pitt, Jackman, Matt Damon, Matthew McConaughey, Jude Law, Ben Affleck, and Pierce Brosnan privately sit around feeling sorry for themselves because they’re no longer deemed “the fairest of them all” by the mirror on the wall… Get back on the treadmill, boys. There’s always next year.