GQ names its Men of the Year
November 18th, 2009
Breakout of the Year is Chris Pine.
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Okay, forget that stupid Sexiest Man Alive thing in People magazine. That’s just a ploy to put some hunk on the cover of a magazine so women will buy it (thank God I never buy any magazines based on how attractive the woman on the cover is!)
We are just weeks ahead from not only the end of another year but the end of the first decade of the 21st century. The media loves to produce this retrospective lists declaring this or that superlative, just in case we weren’t paying attention when things happened.
GQ magazine, for one, has named its Men of the Year. Here’s the complete list:
- Their Breakout Man of the Year is “Star Trek” star Chris Pine, who I just learned is reportedly dating Olivia Munn. Just like Captain Kirk to bag the exotic babe.
- Clint Eastwood, GQ’s Badass of the Year, keeps proving why he deserves that title. Clint may be 79 but he isn’t sitting around playing shuffleboard in his golden year. He’s kicking Hollywood ass!
- The Funnymen of the Year are the guys from “The Hangover.” I have to agree with that one 1,000%. I’m STILL laughing from that end credits photo of Zach Galifianakis and the old Asian woman in the elevator.
- Paul Rudd is the Everybro of the Year. Ditto, still laughing at him puking on Jon Favreau.
- The Nerds of the Year are Twitter’s Biz Stone and Evan Williams. They can’t be too big of nerds with cool names like that.
- The Gangsta Killers of the Year are Wale, Drake and Kid Cudi.
- The Villain of the Year is Christoph Waltz, who played the deliciously sadistic Nazi Jew hunter in “Inglourious Basterds.”
- “True Blood” stars Ryan Kwanten, Stephen Moyer and Alexander Skarsgard were named The Men Who Saved HBO.
- Leader of the Year is Barack Obama. I guess Glenn Beck didn’t get to vote on this one.
- Power Players of the Year are JJ Abrams and his Posse.
- Boss of the Year is Alec Baldwin. Never mind that he’s an actor. He plays one on TV.
- Chef of the Year is Jose Andres.
- Speed Racer of the Year is Usain Bolt, the Jamaican sprinter and 3-time Olympic gold medalist.
- Kobe Bryant is the Champion of the Year.
- Tom Brady is the Comeback of the Year. As if marrying Gisele wasn’t enough!
- Tom Ford is Crossover of the Year.
- Joseph Gordon-Levitt is The New Romantic.
- Neil Patrick Harris is the Trailblazer of the Year. Way to go, Barney.
- Attorney General Eric Holder is the Maverick of the Year. I guess John McCain was last year?
- Leighton Meester is the Obsession of the Year. Who is she, you ask? Precisely. Never mind. She’s hot.
- Phoenix is the Band on the Run.
- Nouriel Roubini is the Oracle of the Year. He’s the guy who predicted a deep recession brought on by a housing bust. Oracle indeed.