What really happened to Tiger Woods?
Oh yeah, she's smokin'.
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What the hell happened to Tiger Woods?
On Friday I got a breaking news report that the famed golfer was seriously injured in a car accident outside his South Florida home. Something about crashing into a fire hydrant, then hitting a tree. My first thought: The Golden Boy was boozing it up on the golf course. But no, we learned alcohol allegedly WASN’T involved, but — get this — charges still might be filed against an unspecified person.
Hmmmm…
Then it got more interesting as reports started to emerge that a woman named Rachel Uchitel was possibly involved in all of this via Tiger arguing with his hot Swedish wife Erin Nordegren about a National Enquirer report that he got freaky with the attractive brunette (although Uchitel denies this and is threatening to sue the tabloid). TMZ reported Nordegren allegedly changed her story with the police and that Woods told a friend his face actually got scratched by Nordegren during a confrontation over the other woman in the tabloid report.
A couple of things come to mind…
First, why would anybody cheat on a gorgeous Swedish blonde like Erin Nordegren? Not saying he did, mind you, but why would he? Unless she got frigid or frumpy or downright grumpy after he slid the ring on her pretty finger, thus entitling her to half of his considerable assets. Or his ego couldn’t contain his libido? If he’s totally innocent and the affair is just a stupid tabloid lie, why would Nordegren scratch his face (if she actually did)?
Secondly, what the hell actually happened here? Is Tiger’s wife going to get busted by the cops for allegedly lying? I’m guessing no. She’s too wealthy.
It’s all speculation at this point so we shouldn’t jump to any conclusions — other than shock that Mr. Nice would ever have a soap opera like this played out in public. It will be interesting to see what actually went on here (and what the story we’re given will be).
Update: Woods issued a statement calling speculation about the incident “irresponsible” and saying that he alone is at fault. He also sent the cops away for the third time without talking to them. Something about Florida law that you can tell the police to buzz off if they’re asking you about a traffic accident. And, of course, this sounds totally like a traffic accident rather than domestic violence. Sure…
AskMen.com had a funny Tweet about it this morning: “AM Edict 67: Re: Affairs, if you find yourself getting chased with golf clubs and featured on trashy websites, then you are doing it wrong…”
Looks like a staged wreck.
(How it happened)
In the house with crazy wife going ballistic about the other woman.
She is hitting and scratching beyond control and he has serious facial scars.
Even gets in the car for protection against her rage.
She takes one of the many golf clubs in the garage and beats the back window out while screaming.
Things calm down and they later call the agent to get advise about what to do now that he looks like he has been in a car wreck.
Agent tell him to get in the car and carefully drive into a tree or something outside the property, but inside the gated community which has nonpublic streets. Local cops have no jurisdiction.
Tiger hits the tree on the right passengers side, not too hard, as pictures show, and then the wife calls 911 wile he lays on the ground.
Now he can get treatment and show up in public the next week with facial scars and make his wife look like the good girl.
It is a process of using a staged event to answer all possible questions that are sure to be asked.
This is not a hard one.